Perceptions and being good

Instead of commenting on why there hasn't been an update since last year, I will continue to just write.

Yesterday, I met with the Chairman of L&L Hawaiian Barbecue Johnson Kam. My uncle-in-law, who came from China just about a little over a month ago with my aunt and her two kids, was looking for a job and so another relative set up a meeting with what I thought was the manager of the L&L near my house.

I went along with him because he pretty much does not know an ounce of english and was applying for a job as a cook and he needed a ride and possibly a translator. We get there and we end up meeting the man, who spoke Cantonese and English quite well, but it seemed to be quite an informal meeting as everyone was wearing street clothes and he seemed to talk to me more.

What he ended up saying was that he can give my uncle a job, but he would not be training in the store that we were in. The condition was, if my uncle wanted to work for L&L, that he would need to come with the manager to Hawaii for a month to train directly as he felt the people in the store would not train him well enough. The manager stated he will pay for the plane ticket, the housing, as well as food while he was in Hawaii.

I, being the skeptic and not really knowing who this man was, felt that this man was a bit on the sketchy side. Who was he to make such an offer for fully paid training for a month in HAWAII? He has never met my Uncle-in-law prior to this and I wasn't sure of what my Aunt's relationship to this person was. The guy even asked me if I was interested in being a manager of a store. Suffice to say, we had to think about it and consider with family and the man was more than willing to comply. He offered his personal number and told us to give him a call... and that was the meeting.

I went home to look up who he was and lo and behold, he was the co-owner of the entire franchise. With just knowing that, my level of skepticism was almost disappeared. But I wondered why he would do this for someone he doesn't even know. I'm sure he knows the situation that my uncle-in-law is in and he is willing to provide him with a great opportunity. While it isn't a managerial job or some kind of top notch executive career, I still think that such a job is respectable. My aunt and uncle-in-law must have come to the US believing that the opportunity will be better for their two kids in spite of the burden on them for not knowing the language or the culture. It is very taxing and trying for us to have to cater to their family, we have to remind ourselves that they are family and that we were once like them. I just hope they really are willing to put in the effort.

But back to the topic. This Johnson Kam really does seem to be a genuinely nice guy and it doesn't seem to me like he has any hidden agendas. I wonder that if I were successful as he, would I be willing to do so much for someone else? Would I still be able to relate to the people or would I end up being a stuck-up jerk? Then again, this supposes that I will be successful in the future.

Perception is a strange thing. In looking for a mate, (typically) we would first chose to talk to the gorgeous looking person rather than the pot-marked wall flower from across the room. People may seem skeevy or nice in outward appearance of mannerisms and through conversions, but how much information do we need in order to truly find out? This line of thinking, however, proposes that people are only one singular attitude/belief/behavior. Who are we to say that people are not a multitude of different emotions and feelings during different times? But if we were a multitude and can be different things all the time, where is the consistency? How can we believe in other people if they change their agendas and personal philosophies and beliefs all the time? Perhaps having relationships with others is about this balance between these two sides and judging for ourselves which to keep and which to change. Some might not do it as well as others, but then again, there are not really any guidelines. There may be ideas that many people believe, like the trustworthyness of a person as his beliefs and behaviors are consistent and the opposite for those who seem erratic. We can never be in the minds of other and thus, cannot know how they feel about us. But we know some things that people socially agree on. Deciding for ourselves how we want to portray ourselves is the only control we have... even if our portrayal by others cannot be controlled.

That was a strange segway. But do expect more.